Alright, little update. I did this during the Magic's ass-whooping of the Cavs.
Basically, I took a hot glue gun and some wooden dowels I had around, cut them to the length I wanted, and glued the rings in place.
Mayhem says, "I like it, I love it, I want some more of it!"
That's all I can do tonight. I need to go buy some fleece to cover them, then 'glass 'em in, and that's that.