From what I can gather, the car was bought non-running and the PO was chasing after electrical problems. I switched around a few parts (pressure sensor, TPS, etc) from my other running car once I got it home and still no dice. I decided to do a compression test, and found 0 psi in the rear and very very low in the front. Blown. Honestly, I really didn't even care. Usually, you'll see shells in similar condition for sale for the same price with no engine or transmission even installed in the car. Plus, I planned on doing some sort of engine swap in the future anyway.
I poured oil into the combustion chambers and made it start a few times. It smoked like a bish (hint: foreshadowing

)
.
After many failed attempts to borrow a cherry picker from my friend, I bit the bullet and rented one, $40 for 24 hours. Out of sheer boredom in the previous weeks, I had stripped basically the entire engine bay, so the engine and trans came out in less than an hour.

That's me in the foreground, looking on in wonder. My friend Andrew on the right.
A somewhat lulzy picture of the transmission detachment process.

I've heard all the horror stories of the flywheel nut, but it still sucked 100x worse than I was expecting. It eventually came loose with me standing on the engine and my dad leaning on a 6-foot cheater bar on the end of the 3/4" breaker bar. Biggest PITA ever.
So then the teardown began. I used the bucket method, since I'm too cheap to buy an engine stand right now

. (but I'll probably buy one soon, if my diabolical plan works out

)
The rear iron came off first, I was expecting carnage since the rear rotor was at 0 psi. The motor delivered.

Obvious apex seal damage. ouch. I also noticed that the coolant passages were extra cruddy and the coolant seals were deteriorated to basically nothing. So, so far we have a double apex seal and coolant seal failure.
Pulled off the middle iron and had a look at the front rotor. The apex seals were in much better shape and slid out easily (I stuck them back together with red loctite and kept them as souvenirs) However, one of them did have a small chip on the end.
As for the front rotor and housing, they obviously didn't have any major apex seal gouges, but they held some hidden secrets. And the coolant seals were grenaded here too

.
While inspecting the front rotor, I noticed these weird carbon wear patterns on the rotor tips.

I bet the experienced builders know exactly what was going on just from looking at those poorly taken pictures, but in my noobishness, it took me a day or 2 to figure it out.
With the front iron and housing still sitting on the bucket, I reinserted the rotor and e-shaft so I could entertain myself by spinning it around. I noticed that it would get really hard to turn when the rotor reached a certain position. Upon closer inspection, I finally figured it out. Remember those failed coolant seals? Well I guess they caused the car to overheat, and the housing expanded into the path of the rotor, causing the tip to smack into the housing on every rotation (thus explaining those wear patterns on the rotor and the slightly warped apex seal slots.)
So that's basically where I stand now.